Umbrella Etiquette to Know
1. Please leave your patio size umbrellas in storage or attached to said patio table. You do not need to take up a 10 ft radius of dry space while exploring the city.
2. If you choose to ignore Rule #1, please have the common courtesy to raise your patio umbrella when sharing sidewalk space with other umbrella-carriers. Not doing so will result in umbrella fender benders and will block traffic behind you, causing both coffee and people to spill.
3. If wearing a rain parka, hat, and a hood, please leave your umbrella at home. Once again, dry space is limited and you have already established your necessary space with your parka, hat, and a hood.
4. If it is determined that you need an umbrella, please do not then hog overhangs or awnings. Once again, you have an umbrella, so please reserve limited dry space for the poor souls who do not have an umbrella handy.
5. If you have spiky metal points shooting out of your umbrella, please use extra caution when cutting people off, etc. Otherwise invest a new $3.00 umbrella which are available everywhere.
WARNING: If these rules are not followed, then any fellow New Yorker has the right to take your umbrella, patio or otherwise, and beat you silly with it.